things i'll never say

It's so hard to find a good skin for this site these days. Anyway, make do with this first :-) Honestly, im lazy to blog, lazy to care, lazy to reply tags. But then again, my site is one of the few sites i'd go to first. And i wanna keep it alive, thats why im here.

Yesterday i was really moodless and spent the whole day playing with my itouch, i didnt go church again. I think i'm really a bad christian. But wtv. Thank goodness night time wasn't that bad cuz zh and I went to jp for dinner.

Tomorrow will be the last day i'll be seeing him before i leave sg to maldives! And we're going cycling (hopefully) :>

Till later earth!

happy

I'm a happy girl that went for massive shopping today and spent hundreds of bucks with mummy (from mummy too lol) and daddy paid half of my itouch so i finally gotten my itouch and currently going obsessed over it even though i know this obsession wont last long :P ha please slap me for just saying that. But i promise i will not forget and abandon my old podie o that has stayed faithful to me and will always be and i promise i will love my itouchie with all my heart.

xoxo!

I love The Body Shop things.

♥

Hello everyone :> These are the pictures that speaks 23 november. (friends, and family) Check out my bday celebrations!

Woke up really early (to me) on 23 nov, to meet my dear friends @ orchard mrt. Dawn and nat were there when i reached so we went to Ion orchard to grab a bite. Settled at some dimsum chinese restaurant and ordered porridge for my stupid problematic stomach! Waited for annetta to come while eating. Brought in the cake (look how nice it is) and sang happy bday song afterwhich i'm given a box of present (by nat and ann) and i have to dig for the main thing.

AS YOU CAN SEE, it's a G-string. GOOD ONE. hahahahaha up till now i still dont dare to wear yet :P

Walked around before dawn's bf came to find us. Chilled out, they drank breezer :P Dawn & jon got me heels! Very pretty ones. (though i really liked the pull and bear heels which doesnt have my size) Thanks sweet friends :>

Bf came, friends left, accompanied him to eat. Grandma smsed me this :

Grandma: Why not ask your bf to come for dinner

Me: Why?

Grandma: Since today everyone is here, you can introduce him to us. Don be scared

HAHA cute right. Not like im scared, besides she saw him before. Thus i persuaded dear zh to come (and it took so long....) But he did came in the end. Now EVERYONE in my family knows and met kzh <3!>

Family celebrated bday with a cake and grandpa cooked my favourite dishes. BUT sadly my stomach was being a sad bitch that day >: afterthat everyone went home and zh walked home with my mum and dad. Stayed for awhile before going. I love my boy!

All in all, i really enjoyed my 15th birthday, thanks to everyone who wished me in facebook, in smses, and also in calls, to my dearest and sweetest friends, (really dont know how it will turn out if its not for you guys), to esther for the book "memories of us", to my family as well, and lastly to my zh.

Last but not least,

hahahahahahaahhahahahhahahahahahahahah siao.

oh yea itouch tmr!

sooooon-er

Hey friends :-)

I had an awesome birthday, and thank you everyone for the birthday(& lasting long with zh) wishes :> Love you guys.

Meanwhile i'll update about my birthday soon, when the pictures are ready. Goodbye :>

first year and birthday :>

my birthday in 2 mins.

today was awesome <3 and you know what, i love my bf f**k loads im gonna gobble him up.
Love you babyyyyyy zhihonggggg you're the sweetest person God can ever give to me. You make me go CRAZY over you, honest. Ask my friends. Just love you so.damn.much.okey<3>
Though there were really bad times and awesome good times together, i'm still glad we went through it whole-heartedly and bravely, and i really thank God for that. You're the BEST. HAPPY 1st YEAR KZH, muackkkzkzzzzzzxzxxzx!

Hi.(sorry for the mushy-ness up there, its for my <3)>

HAHA so now it's 12am and richelle's the first to wish me a happy birthday, (actually is baby but too advanced) followed by nat and mummy. And thanks rory for the advance bday wish on my taggy.

Hope tomorrow's gonna be a goooooood bday! :-) Love my friends, family and most of all, bf. Not to forget the amazing daddy i have, God.

wake up everyone, how can you sleep at a time like this?

heya.

Skipped church cuz not feeling good, slept whole day again. Yadayadayada blah blah BAH. Tomorrrrooooow yoo know whatttt's cumin up! I prayyyy i'll be fine by then ^^

And then soon i'll be oooofff to beautiful maldives :-)

Sometimes i wish i've something interesting to talk about. Anyhoo, my pop and mom's gonna get me an itouch :> Is that a good thing? Sure issss, at least i won't be so bored during long journeys i guess.

.

I love God. I love God and i really love Him and i dont know why i suddenly say that but i love God alot.

.

kkk bye. Listen to your voice, i'm gonna make it mine, yes i'll make it all mine.

Photobooth

I just felt they were funny, and it reminds me of that day! Sigh gooood times :> We even had a video using photobooth and its just darn funnnnnnnyyyy ahhhh haha okay sorry i was bored.

Missing a piece.

i'll follow you into the dark

Hi, it's time for me to settle down and tell some stories.

Mum's birthday: We had awesome shopping and dinner although i was feeling unwell. And the day before went town with baby to get present for mummy, which was purple shiny havaianas slippers! Met dad for dinner at some very good japanese BBQ restaurant @ holland v before going to nat's house for stayover :> so all in all mum's bday was goood.

Stayover @ Nat's: Chilled out, photobooth, peektures, snapple, sakae, vivo, everything! It's just so great hanging out with nat. (love)

Today: Had been feeling queasy in the stomach since dont know when, very uncomfortable )-: So zh came over to take me to the doctor's and looked after me the whole day before leaving. Always a cure to my illness :>

Sigh, hope i'll feel better by tomor so i can go church, and by sun so we could celebrate 1 year, and by mon cuz its my bday. Please! :B

Other than that i guess there's not much for this week. (but its been kinda good)

Smile! :-)

stayover @ nat's

Hi. First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMYYYYYYYY i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love youuuuu x100000000

More about today tomorrow, homies :>

Right now, i'll BRB be right bacckkkkk!

say it out loud

Finite

Money
Touch
Civilization
Plane rides
Emotional distress
Being alive
Being asleep and awake

Infinite
Time
Love
Memory
Black holes
Weather patterns
Being dead
being remembered

True? Yea.

Anyway i liked today cuz its a cold day, very cosy, good to sleep :> Didnt take a nap today, surprisingly. Addicted to bejeweled :@ So i have a v strong feeling tonight's gonna be a good sleep for me. Meantime, can't wait for tomorrow, can be in boyfran's arms.

Now im gonna watch telly and eat.

we've got our deepest hopes tattooed on our eyelids

so when we sleep we speak fireworks

I held the stars to light where you are

When your unfeigned heart called to me

through the dark soaked in the sound that rose from the ground

There I could feel

I felt, I felt you near.

start or end?

Mom's birthday's cumin. Never see zh for 3 days already, omg >: okay, tomor wont be seeing him too, but will be seeing him on tuesday! Right after his school. Heading town to get mommy's present! Teehee. :>

Wednesday celebrating mummy's birthday, will be going mad shopping, shopping for christmas presents tooooo :-) Have a feeling my whole biggie family will like the xmas presents i'll be giving them ^^ Wednesday night, staying over at nat's place! :> So this week sounds fun and cool. Sunday, celebrating my bday and 1st year with my dearest zh, monday my bday with frans!

omgosh hope everything will go as planned, preeettty please!

Next next week i'll be off to maldives. It seemed like yesterday we were still discussing to go or not, and now its just 2 weeks time! :>

Happy birthday popo! And yesterday even though i had great dinner, i couldnt sleep till 4.30am, which is after i vomitted. The feeling was horrible, high fever all the way till morning :O and mommy wanted to bring me to 24 hrs clinic but didnt. Sigh :/ Thank goodness around 10+ im so much better!

Ah. Right now im just so addicted to bejeweled.

How can there be so many personalities,

so many lifeless, empty hands

so many hearts in great demand?

8 more days, 9 more days

Town yesterday, with annetta cuz she pitied me. Lol. Had pepper lunch after a vvvv long time! And yami yogurt again. I think im really addicted to yami yogurt. And then met cell(some of them) @ kfc. At night. Stayed and chitchatted all the way till 11+, went to gramps place cuz dont dare to go home. Had a good treat @ gramps. My lucky day. And to think that yesterday was friday the 13th.

Today: Slept in the whole day, as usual. Every weekend is the same. Evening met aunt, uncle & co, went to indulge in great italian foooood, followed by super sweet dessert, my favourite lava cake! What can I say? It was all good :>

Skipped church again. Where's my heart? I guess I lost it somewhere. Where's God? Still with me. Where's myself? I dont know. Where's my saturday for God? Gone somewhere.

I really miss zh badly. I need to learn to control. Sigh.

Sometimes i feel so greedy. Oh anyway, i hope zh can quickly learn how to make muddy mud pie from his fran! Craving for it :P

Okayyyy, tomorrow is popo's birthday. Celebrating it with her! Bb.

p/s get an itouch or no?

2012

2012 was great, yi ji bang! Especially with zh ^^ And had yami yogurt toooo :> sweet.

Goodnight everyone! :>

donuts

I'm gonna try loving life, MY LIFE. I dont care how you funny people lead your lives but i'm gonna make mine amazing. More amazing than you friggin shits. (sorry if its offensive) but really, im gonna make my life the way i want it to be. Swear.

So first thing first : I'm gonna make a list of what i feel like eating or having a crave on, then make sure i go get them. And then i will book tickets for myself and boy, 2012 tix.(tomor!) Then im gonna do what i really feel like doing. AND UNLESSSSSS i'm really bored, i'll not complain i'm bored. (which will be a little hard) HAHA.

Hoping to have 2 stayovers! One at pris's and another at nat's.

I just want to be happy :>

i call you mine

I believe, you and I are the best thing that happened in my life.

HI! First, Happy Birthday Rory :> Second, I think im addicted to bejeweled blitz(facebook) cuz i kept playing and beating records. Third, met emy monroe and her friend today for a short while. Fourth, had subway for dinner.

Okay. I rotted today again but its okay yknow its really quite okay. At least i have the priviledge and the honour and the time and the chance to slack, like really really slack. Hehz.

Mmm i wanna eat famous amos now. And drink good milk tea, have haagen daz ice-cream and muddy mud pie! shittttt i really have lots of cravings don't I? )-:

sigh. I wish there's more to life. LIFE. Life's being a bitccch.

heavy rotation

The previous post OBVIOUSLY isn't done by me. It's done by you know who, the mister kzh ):<

Anyway mister kzh just left my homie and i lurbz him loads, and because of him, i didnt get to eat my island creamery cookies and cream, cuz he's toooooo full! (my mister kzh ate alot before that, sobs)

Yeah. HOLIDAYS, what can i say? Still need to do some thinking right, need to THINK of what to do for the day. Well im too lazy to hang out with friends, so, i guess the only thing i'll be doing is rot at home. And meet mister boyfran.

Friday: Rory's place.(maybe)

Sunday: STAYOVER at yap's! with the percussion(but i have a feeling only lim and me). (makes me excited cuz reminds me of japan) HAH.

So at least i have some plans.

1 year anni with mister kzh in 13 days and birthday in 14 days! CoooooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOoooolalalala.

shingz shoot shucks shit think my whole world revolves around kzh and pigging out and playing stupid facebook games. I think im a low lifer, and i know there's no such word. I AM A PIGGGGGGGERRRRR! im gonna pig out soon. I feel dead tired though i did almost nth today.

]:< bob

Hi to all, check this out. :D

THE DAY YOU REALIZE YOU'RE EVENTUALLY GOING TO DIE IS THE DAY YOU'LL LEARN HOW TO LIVE

Playing facebook games, sleeping, eating, listening to the radio, playing facebooks games again, checking out my cafe world, meddling with pet society, going crazy over typing maniac, sleeping again, eating, missing boyfran, just lying on the bed stoning, watching devil wears prada, blogging = basically the things i did today.

Every weekend never seem to miss out an afternoon nap. I can sleep for crazy long hours, and able to sleep at night again. i guess sleeping's gonna be my hobby soon. I'm really bored, and i dont even bother finding a job, i mean its not like i dont have money that i needa work. And, holidays are for enjoying and stoning right. Sigh. I still wish i could have a job to pass time. But working is silly. So yay.

Just wish there's something cool and nice and unboring to do right now, like finding the perfect skin for this silly plain site, yknow im really getting bored of this, and people are too. I dont know if anyone's reading, i dont intend to care either, but its really getting boring!

If only i could live in New York or something..or Paris even! It'll be a dream come true. I'm not a fashionista or whatsoever but places like there are really big fashion cities and materialistic stuffs that i think its really cool. Busy everyday..busy being someone keeping up with fashion everyday! okay i'll not sound like a fashion bimbo now.

I bet corrinne is enjoying herself in japan now and trying to find caucasian guys. Tsk. Ok i'm really bored ok, until i have to mention her. HA.

I need entertainment. Hopefully tomorrow will be somewhat more interesting than today. Please God, thanks.

#000000

Everytime make people excited for nothing. Im very unhappy now. ARGH ):< why!!

sickly woman

Didnt go church cause i chose to go shopping with mum. Yeah, you can say that im not even sincere in being in the cellgroup or whatever, or i dont take saturdays for God seriously blah blah, whatever la okay. I just decided to go with my mom anyway. So yeah, gotten my retribution?

Running a fever in the middle of shopping. Went home first. Slept, i must say its good to sleep when you're sick. Played typing maniac on facebook(lol) afterthat. Darn bored now, nobody at home. Waiting for mummy to buy back dinner!

I miss zh ): Oh yea ytd went to vivo with zh. Just needed to unwind, wanted to go hort park but its like so last min so didnt. Headed to vivo instead. Before that we rented secret to watch at my homie :> I had a moment of pms too. Sorry :/ But all in all ytd was goooood :>

Sigh. bye. And, ice cream anyone?

i feel like a shit, honestly. Cellgroup? I dont even feel like i belong there. I dont know why. Church? Go church? Yeah go church. I dont even feel homely in that place, dont feel God there. Even when i tried and asked Him to help. I cant. Worse now, smallgroup gone. I DONT EVEN FEEL LIKE GOING THERE ANYMORE. sorry. Its just how i feel now. But i will still try to go. Afterall, thats the place where people care the most, or is it? i dont know seriously.

hover the world

I dont really like rainy days, but i like it when it's raining. I like it when its raining because it gets all so cosy up and it's really a good time to sleep, makes you feel so home and comfortable in your nest. But i dont like it when it's raining too because, it makes me feel that the rain will create floods and that the wind will be blowing the trees down and the buildings will eventually collapse, causing the world to come to an end.

Yeah, i know. Lame. Paranoid. Silly. I know, i know! Its just how i feel. I can make myself sound so silly feel so silly be so silly at times, i can make small things sound like big impossible things. It's just me.

I always pray and ask God to stop being angry whenever there's thunder and lightning. Just cuz when i was young my grandma told me God's angry whenever it's raining. I'm always scared and never fail to worry about buildings collapsing. What if there's an earthquake?

Urgh. Anyway. Yesterday night was fun :-) dinner with zh's always good. Never fail to be bad. Love you baby ;-)

Today went to school late, wrote a very lame and sarcastic reflection, went home, met pep and spend the WHOLE ENTIRE day with her. Everything seem good :) Tomorrow's friday! Should i stay home? or have dinner with cell? or what? Go out with tgif clique the SUP? Somehow i like staying at home now. The only thing i dread is finding food. I hate buying lunch myself, hate eating alone. >:(

I miss SUP. So much. I can never find the courage to go back. I'll shame myself. I'll never play well. Never ever.

bye fellas.

edit:/ mum made carrot juice for me juz now and it was darn nice. + i know what to do tmr already! Wake up late, nua on the bed and just wait for zh to come! spending my fwiiiday with him. (L)

thinking is regconizing causes

I'm waiting, waiting and waiting~ Waiting for evening to come. Waiting to see you waiting to eat with you waiting to walk with you waiting to hold your huge warm protective hand/s. Waiting to squeeze you waiting to tease you waiting to just hug the xxx out of you. Waiting and still waiting and patiently excitedly waiting.

Im so bored this is so boring waiting is boring doing nothing is boring. i think i'll take a nap soon or make a little card for that someone i'm waiting for. Cuz it keeps me occupied so i wont keep missing and thinking.

xxx

edit:/ i can CRY seriously. this boredom is killing me. Perpetually.

19 more, 20 more.

I've 3 novels now. Honestly, cck library sucked. And i'd rather buy my own novels than borrow. But it was kinda last min today, was a lazy lazy pigged-out day, thus i did nothing much other than sleep and pop by the library to borrow books.

Besides that, i really had a bad time communicating with my china part time maid. Cuz i really cant speak chinese, she really really really cant make out what i'm trying to say. I tried so hard. In the end i rang up my mom to seek help.

So shingz.

Anyhoo, cant wait for tomorrow! It's gonna be another island creamery night with zh! wahahahahzzzzz. Mega boomz!!! cant waaaaiiittttt. I noticed once we start liking something, we'll get addicted to it(and keep going)! Haha, its just so zh-vanz thang. I dont wanna go school tomorrow either. But i think i will. arghhhzzz dont know.

i feel like this post is so unlike me. kk wtv yaw.

20 more.

Okay. Today is a not bad day, not really a kns kanasai day..because bf overslept! Thus he skipped school and uh, came over. Hehehehehehehehhehe.

YAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYY i love love love you know who, haha.

.

Honestly, i dont know what made me feel so tired now..so i guess, i'm gonna plonk on the bed and zzz sooooon. But yeah history remedial suck big time. Really DARN SIAN i dont know why i go, cuz i go there with an empty head, came back with one too.

.

Maybe town with dawn tmr, maybe. I wanna sleep like a log. Till damn late tmr heheez 8)

.

Oh andddd bringing bf to meet my whole family on family christmas bash! HAHA. (maybe only) tsk. My grandma rock at bejeweled on facebook. She owned my cousin. WHAT KIND OF GRANDMA IS THIS?! heh i think its a cool one :> + my mum never seem to get bored of maple. :(

.

Early this morn dad asked me if i wanna take care of his friend's dog for a little while. 2 weeks or so. 2 month old puppy. Seeked permission from mum and zh.

.

Mum: No, dirty the house and you dont even know how to take care of yourself.

Zh: No! You dont even know how to take care of yourself already, how will you take care of the dog?

.

URGH. sobz. bb. I shall retreat to my bed and emo. :-(

Oopsy Daisy

underwear: "I have the worst job in the world."

Hi.

I realise I want something to wake up for every morning. IT doesn't have to
be someone. It just needs to exist. I want to stop disappointing people because
I want to stop disappointing myself. I want to stop making friends with the
right kind of people who make me feel wrong. I want to find a passion for
anything, anything to keep me going. I want to be a girl at the end of the movie
who does the half smile, and knows everything will be fine. I want total honesty
to be easier to achieve. I want to end my life as myself - not my friends, not
my family, and not who they always expected I would be. I want
equality to exist among everyone. Especially prejudiced teenage girls. I want

stress and exhaustion to disappear. I want to achieve everything they never did.

Okay so. I'm going to drink milk everyday. And juice. And since holidays have just started, I've decided to eat sleep shit eat sleep shit eat sleep watch telly surf net eat sleep shit when i'm at home, which i'll most likely be.

I want to watch a movie!

There's remedial at 8am tomorrow and maybe band practice + bf has long hours of school tmr urgh :( seriously kns, KANASAI. shingz.

There's a point in your life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything but it's not giving up. It's just realizing that you dont need certain people and the bullshit they're always bringing.

xxxxxxz.

brilliant mistakes

1. I am not working anymore.
2. Cheer up nissi salt 1! God has a reason to do this.
3. I love my baby.

1: Because its not worth it. Really. Not. Worth. It. Sigh.

2: Yes, I may not go church often. Or i may only be able to make it for cellgroup. But afterall, i still know and love everyone as brothers and sisters in christ. And i absolutely feel guilty for not being able to make it today because its the last day the cell are together as one. Now that my small group's being dispersed, its really sad. However I believe God has a reason to do this and no matter what the outcome is, praise God. We can still meet up!
Thanks Shannon, jieying, mavis, mun ho, corrinne, Jonathan, James, Zoe and Anyi for making small group wonderful :>
And i promise i'll try to make it every sat for church.

3: I love zh. And i realise almost every post has zh zh zh ever since we got together. Tsk. Haha. Went to jurong point with zh after interview at night. :-) Bought new nail polish(s)! Love the colours. Im a spendthrift.

Sigh. Life can be so good at times, but can just change within seconds. Anything and everything can happen, but then again, there's a reason behind everything, right? Right.

Are you a big fish in a little pond, or are you a little fish in a big pond?

Life is a joke if you think it is. Life is unbeautiful if you think it is. But why not try thinking it the positive way? Afterall you have only 1 life, so why not make the best out of it? Turn the sad things the other way round. Whats the opposite of sad? Happy. Forget the unhappy ones. No one wants to take a photograph of things they dont want to remember.

Humans are always so fragile and bound to be broken.
Humans are always so fragile and never unspoken.
Be tough.